Ronaldo. The world's best and fattest player. (Im your bitch, Ronnie!)

"I have never seen a talent like Ronaldo. He always scores, scores, scores. The first game he played for Milan, Sienna away, I said to him: 'I can't put you on the pitch, you are 100kg'. 'Mister', he said, 'don't worry, I will score'. I put him in and he scored twice." - Carlo Ancelotti